


Oh! Things Can Be Okay!

by Thatsalittleconcerning



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Autistic Logic | Logan Sanders, Crying, Cussing, Fluff and Angst, Gay, Gay Logic | Logan Sanders, Hurt/Comfort, I’m sad, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, M/M, Multi, Sad Logic | Logan Sanders, Self-Harm, Suicidal Logic | Logan Sanders, Suicidal Thoughts, ahhhhhhhhhh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-11
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-07 23:00:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26945581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thatsalittleconcerning/pseuds/Thatsalittleconcerning
Summary: Logan is just having a real bad time, luckily one of his boyfriends catches him self harming before anything gets to the point of no return. Essentially I just said: hahaha what if I had a stronger support system? And then wrote a fic.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders, Logic | Logan Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Comments: 16
Kudos: 127





	Oh! Things Can Be Okay!

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! This gets a tiny bit graphic! Read the tags and stay safe!

Alright, maybe Logan was having second thoughts. But the bath water was already pink, it was far too late to go back now. He sighed and looked back at his bloodied legs, fiddling with the pencil sharpener blade in his hands. It hurt, sure, but it wasn’t anything he couldn’t handle...

This was just a way to cope with... everything. The numbness, the anxiety, the anger, it all loosened. He told himself that he deserved to hurt, and that it was the natural and logical thing to do. He would hold his breath and have at his thighs, ripping skin open and overlapping cuts until he needed air again. Then he would watch the blood swirl around him, mixing it into the water, maybe he would give himself some slower cuts, and then he would repeat. It was a process, and he had it down to a science. 

It was exhausting, but honestly, what wasn’t exhausting these days? He laughed to himself, but it didn’t come out right, he sounded weak and scared. He shut himself up and let the shame of the moment wash over him before taking a deep breath and relaxing into the water. It was then there was a knock on the door.

“Anyone in there?” Virgil asked.

“I’m in the bath!” Logan answered quickly 

Shit... this was bad...

“Okay well, I really need to pee. Can you close the shower curtain or something?”

What the hell was he going to do? “Can you wait a minute?” Logan asked shakily.

“Log, we’re dating, I’ve seen your dick before, it’s no secret, can I please pee?” Virgil was getting impatient.

“I uh....”

“Seriously hun we only have one bathroom! You can’t own it for over an hour, my bladder is far too small for that.”

Logan was running out of options. He didn’t reply.

“Okay now you’re making me worried.” Virgil stated.

Logan ripped the shower curtain over the entirety of the bath, but it didn’t cover enough... Virgil would still be able to see the water. Logan hyperventilated and gave some desperate attempts at moving shampoo bottles to obscure the edges of the bath. He could tell it wasn’t going to work. He whimpered.

“Alright what the FUCK is going on in there! I don’t mean to invade your privacy Log but now I need to know you’re okay...” Virgil opened the door.

It was all over. Logan held his knees to his chest and tried not to cry.

Virgil slowly scanned the bathroom until his eyes fell onto the edge of the water. It was full on red. He gasped a little and rushed over to the bath, opening the curtain to reveal Logan, curled up and bloody. He paused for a moment, unsure of what to do.

“Roman!” He called, panic evident in his voice, “I need a little help!”

While Roman made his way to the bathroom from wherever the hell he was, Virgil turned his attention to getting a Logan out of the bath.

Logan felt a hand on his back and a voice gently asking if they could pick him up.  
He relaxed and let Virgil gently lift him out of the water, setting him down against the wall. He blinked his eyes open and stared at Virgil for a second, before suddenly realizing what was going on. He tensed. “Oh shit.” He said quietly, “Oh-oh fuck. I’m so sorry Virgil.. l- I...”

“Hey, hey, it’s alright.” Virgil said gently, lifting Logan’s hand and holding it lightly. “We’ll get you cleaned up.”

It was then that Roman entered the room. He immediately was greeted with a lot more red than normal, and by the sound of Logan’s panicked breathing. Roman just stood there, shocked, unsure of what to do or what was going on.

“Can you- Roman! can you grab some bandages?” Virgil asked him.

Roman put his hands to his mouth and nodded, tears starting to flow as he rifled through the cabinet under the sink.

“Can I get some pants?” Logan asked thickly,

“After we get you cleaned up.” Virgil assured him. “What you’ve uhh... done is not terribly deep... it won’t take long.”

With that Virgil let go of Logan’s hand and stood up to grab a wet cloth. Although a lot of the blood had been washed away in the bath, some cuts were still bleeding, and cleaning everything off would do some good. 

He had sliced open the better half of both of his thighs, and if the faded lines underneath the blood were any indication, this was not the first time.

Logan was pretty much paralyzed with fear and shame, staring wide eyed at his boyfriends as they knelt beside him, one beginning to tend his cuts, the other clutching bandages anxiously. They were too good for him, they had always been too good.

“Hey babe, it’s alright.” Virgil said softly, wiping away a tear from Logan’s face, who wasn’t aware he was crying.

Logan relaxed a little, dropping his shoulders, but avoided eye contact while Virgil completed cleaning his cuts.

All the while Virgil, and occasionally Roman would say something comforting, or prod his leg to get a better angle.

When Virgil was done cleaning, Roman handed the bandages over to him, and they wrapped Logan up together.

“I’m sorry.” Logan mumbled, “I never meant to hurt you...”

Roman teared up again, “sweetheart it’s okay. I mean- it’s not but... you have nothing to be sorry about.” He smiled weakly, finishing up the bandaging. “We’ll talk about it later.”

“What are you going to tell Patton?” Logan asked desperately, finally lifting his head.  
Virgil sighed, “We’ll take care of it. I’m sure he won’t be thrilled, but it’s going to be okay.”

Roman nodded. “I’m going to grab you some clothes Lo. We still have an hour and a half before he gets back.”

“If you could change in our room that would be great.” Virgil added, “I’ll pee and then clean up in here.”

Logan nodded and Roman helped him to his feet.

“Thanks.” Virgil said quietly.

A little while later they all joined together on their bed, everyone clothed in something non-bloodied, bathroom cleaned, and bladders empty. Logan, who at this point was quite exhausted, had fallen asleep between the warmth of his boyfriends, leaving the other two to talk quietly.

Roman took a deep breath and looked to Virgil. Who replied by pursuing his lips. They both glanced back to Logan before one of them finally spoke.

“What are we gonna tell Pat?” Virgil whispered, not moving his gaze.

“I think you’re the better candidate to handle that.” Roman replied. They returned to looking at one another.

“He’s going to be so upset...” Virgil said desperately, “I’m so upset...”

Roman put his hand on Virgil’s shoulder, “I know storm-cloud, me too, but he’s going to be okay.”

Virgil nodded and relaxed a little, “I just worry. We didn’t notice... what if he did something worse?”

Roman sighed, “We can’t let him hide so much anymore. He obviously needs help, now that we know, we can keep an eye on him.”

Virgil looked back down a his sleeping boyfriend, “yah... yah. We’ll talk to him about it.”

Roman smiled lightly, “it’s going to be fine.” He said, kissing Virgil’s forehead and then curling even tighter into the bed.

As expected Patton came home about 40 minutes later. The others were still cuddling on the bed when they heard him come home. Virgil took a deep breath and stood up, Roman gave him an encouraging smile.

Virgil shut the door behind him quietly and walked through the hallway to greet Patton, who was humming quietly to himself and hanging up his coat.

Virgil cleared his throat. “Hey Pat,” 

Patton looked up at him smiling, “hello Virge.”

“We need to talk.”

Patton’s smile immediately dropped, replaced by worry. “What’s going on.”

Virgil took a deep breath. “Everyone’s fine just... here, sit down.”

Patton obliged.

“Something happened while you were gone..” Virgil began, “Logan- ugh. How do I say this...?”

Patton looked at him desperately.

“I found Logan in the bath, with quite a bit of blood.” Virgil started again.

Patton gasped. “Is he okay!? Did he? Virgil did he try-“

“He’s okay.” Virgil cut him off. ”and as far as I know it wasn’t a suicide attempt, it was just self harm. He lost quite a bit of blood, but we bandaged him up, he should be fine.”

Patton was tearing up at this point. “Does he need to go to the hospital? Is he awake?”

Virgil sighed again, trying not to cry any more than he already had today, “he’s asleep with Roman. He doesn’t seem to warrant hospitalization.”

“Oh my god...” Patton Leaned back, wide eyed.

“I know.” Virgil replied. 

“Oh no. I’m glad he’s-he’s alive but...”

“I know Pat.”

“He better be okay.”

“Pat he’s-“

Suddenly Patton sobbed and hugged Virgil. “He’s so small Virge... he’s-he... What if he had died? Oh god. Was this... was this the first time?”

Virgil couldn’t help it anymore, he cried. “No Pat. He... he had scars...”

Patton sobbed harder. “I didn’t notice... I- he seemed okay...”

Virgil rubbed his back. “I know Pat I know...”

Patton pulled away slowly, “can I see him?”

“Of course, but let’s have you calm down a bit first.” Virgil replied.

Patton nodded. “That makes sense.”

“It’s going to be okay.” Virgil said, lightly grasping Patton’s hand.

Patton took a deep breath. “Thanks for telling me Virge.”

“Of course.”

A little while later Patton and Virgil returned to the bedroom. Roman greeted them with a pained smile. Patton immediately rushed to Logan’s side, trying not to wake him, but clinging to his boyfriend like he was about to disappear. 

“Oh Lo.” Patton whispered, “I love you. Please be okay. Please don’t do this again.”

Logan stirred.

“Oh. No sweetheart! You need rest...” Patton said quietly.

Logan was not expecting Patton’s voice, it took him a moment to figure out what was going on. He blinked his eyes open to see Patton’s worried face.

Logan sat up quickly, “Pat.” He whispered “oh no Pat I’m so sorry...”

“Hey, hey, it’s okay.” Patton said, putting his hand on Logan’s shoulder.

“No it isn’t.” Logan replied, clutching his hair, “Nobody was supposed to see that... I wasn’t careful.”

“Logan.” Virgil chipped in, “The problem isn’t that we caught you, it’s that you were doing it in the first place.”

“It’s good that we know.” Roman insisted.

“But if you never knew you wouldn’t be stressed out.” Logan argued.

“We would have known eventually, we share one bedroom and bathroom.” Roman reminded him.

“I just... you didn’t have to...” Logan sighed. “Not ahead of time...”

“Logan.” Virgil whispered, “what do you mean ahead of time?”

Logan gulped, everyone was looking at him desperately, “I didn’t have any solid plans.” He replied quietly.

“Suicide plans.” Virgil confirmed.

Logan shifted uncomfortably, “yes.”

“Logan” Patton sobbed. “That would have been so much worse.”

“I know!” Logan replied quickly, “that’s why things weren’t... solid. I don’t want to hurt you guys.”

Roman took a deep breath, “we are never going to let you do that.”

“We need you Lo.” Virgil pleaded. 

Patton just cried.

“I’m sorry.” Logan repeated, because he didn’t know what else to say.

“No. No. Logan stop.” Roman replied, “we’re sorry. We didn’t know you were feeling this way.”

“But now we can help.” Virgil reasoned, “we’re not going to let you suffer alone and silently.”

Logan sighed. “I don’t deserve you guys.”

“Yes you do.” Virgil replied.

Logan just sighed again.

Roman put a hand on Logan’s shoulder, “you want to tell us how you’re feeling.”

“Like physically...?” Logan asked.

“All of it.” Roman clarified.

“Well I’m pretty damn anxious.” Logan began, “I’m guilty. REALLY guilty. I’m... I”

“Keep going.” Virgil prodded.

Logan choked up, “I never wanted this to happen... I never wanted things to get this far. I just-I...” he sobbed, “I feel awful and I don’t know why and I feel like I don’t deserve anything good and that I’m just... not worth anyone’s time. I- I know you love me and I love you too I just want a-all of it to stop. Everything moves so fast and I’m so tired and sick...”

Patton sobbed.

“I don’t know why I hurt myself... I just tell myself I deserve it. It’s just the natural thing to do. Everyone always makes it sound so black and white but it’s really confusing. I hate being confused... like... I’m smarter than this. I should be able to handle myself. But then there’s just a blade right there and me... right there and everything just falls apart. Does it feel good? I don't know... maybe? But it feels right. I-I don’t want to keep doing this. I’m sorry but I don't want to be in pain anymore. I cant do it. I just... can’t.” His last word came out soft, almost a whisper.

“Oh Logan... I’m sorry you feel this awful.” Roman replied gently. “But we’re here for you. We’ll always help.”

Virgil nodded, “it’s alright. We’ll keep you safe.”

Patton hugged Logan as tight as he could, “We love you Lo. We love you so much.”

Logan melted, “thank you guys, really.”

“Of course.” Virgil said, “We’ll figure this out.”

And Logan believed him.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed that. Take care of yourself!!


End file.
